Are you happy?

"are you happy?" is such a difficult question. I laugh at jokes, I go out and have a lot of fun. My life isn't as bad as it could be. And I don't have terrible problems, it could really be worse. But then, one night at 3am when I'm alone and still awake lying in bed, thinking about life, I find myself crying my heart out, suddenly convinced that no one likes me or nobody will ever like me. I feel horrible and I question everything I had. And I don't know if I was ever happy at all.

Why

Don't know why I keep writing about you when I know you're someone my words will never touch

Come on kid this is your dream

She

She was beautiful, but not like those girls in the magazines. She was beautiful, for the way she thought. She was beautiful, for that sparkle in her eyes when she talked about something she loved. She was beautiful, for her ability to make other people smile even if she was sad. No, she wasn't beautiful for something as temporary as her looks. She was beautiful, deep down to her soul.

"'You disappear so completely into your head sometimes,' he said. 'I wish I could follow you.'"

i think

I think I fall in love with people
a little too much

just the way they sound at 4am
or how they look when they smile

and its so addicting
when their eyes light up
because you've remembered something they may have said

I think I grow attached,
to people, who I know,
will leave

But I can't help it
because I see all that you are
when you don't really see it yourself.

and sometimes I wonder how someone's heart,
grows so cold,
and i think, that maybe its because
for a while, it was left out in the rain.

You know some days I struggle,
when there's nothing left to say,
because I still don't know how to convince you,
that out of everyone,
and all the ones that leave

I'm always the one still standing there,
with an umbrella,
just bug enough,
to cover your heart.

cs